Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Limousines of Snobdom

Have you ever been to the Lodhi Empire....No no....not the 12th century one....of course I know THEY are dead.....but the other one with the capital in IHC. Actually the original capital was Mr. Stein's landmark IIC the India International Centre...but it has now shifted to its more chic and "mod" younger bro...the IHC...for those who are unfamiliar with Delhi...The India Habitat Centre.
The vast dominion of this kingdom spans from the IHC at one end, across Lodhi estate, it ends at the very hub of "snobdom" the Sujan Singh Park with Khan Market looking on in disdain at any stray mongrel that may have strayed into its sanctified domain.This empire is ruled by the "Snob" dynasty...quite a contrast to the rulers of the original Lodhi empire who have been known through history as the "Slave" dynasty. Go to Lodhi estate and you meet with the plethora of snobs...of all sizes, shapes and colours. There are the snob aunties, the snob babes, the snob offsprings, the snob bureaucrats, ....oh the list is endless. I am not going to talk about them...If you are interested in further reading on them pick up one of the scores of coffee table books that are mushrooming across bookstores.
What intrigues me are the "autowallas" and the transformation they undergo when they cross the Khan market or IHC red light.They are no longer CNG burning, noise and smoke emitting, funny shaped media of public transport. No, don't be fooled by the seemingly common appearance of green and yellow battered metal and torn upholstery. They have become the winged mythical vehicles from Ravana land. Its like the red lights are some kind on invisible time portals.Pass through them and the auto is no longer a three wheeler. Its a stretch limo with more wheels than those snaky carrier trucks found on Ring Road after midnight. They drive up grandly to the waiting diplomats and other people full of self importance waiting their ride an inch away from the IIC gate. Even the buses are so rare that it would almost seem that they do not want to trample on the holy grounds. And if they do stop, they pick up their passengers surreptitiously and are away sooner than you can even decipher their route.
The other phenomenon that never fails to amuse me is the throng of autos that line up the IIC road with apparently no intention to go anywhere. If you are a frequent visitor you will realise that they are chauffeured autos and are awaiting the hirers, sometimes all day long, to take themback to their new destinations. What amuses however is how these guys dont even so much as blink towards the lesser mortals like yours truly, let alone send out the silent query of all "normal" autofellows-"kahan jaana hai?"(where do you want to go?) instead they go pretending that you do not exist and leave you to seek the condescension of a more generous autowallah....perhaps if you are fortunate enough after an hour of standing around looking foolish, you might meet up with a stray one that has mistakenly entered the hallowed lands and is as desperate to get out of there as you are. But be ready to pay through your nose, if you are catching a ride on Lodhi Estate, if you happened to have even breathed that air, you are supposed to be green....with money! What brings about this disdain? The fact that you do not have your own little wheely, a vintage or a flashy new Benz....oh my God not even a lousy 800, WHAT are you doing in the L land??? If the citizens of snobdom have such an outlook towards you, thats okay. They apparently are entitled to by their rights as a L land citizen, but what is hilarious that even the autofellows think that way, and they survive on overcharging and subterfuging people who do not have their little wheelies to spin around town in!!!
So next time you do take a trip to those sacred grounds, my advice to you is: if you dont have a car, then walk...walk as fast as you can...till you have stepped out of the sanctum of the Lodhis that is unless you have a wallet that can afford a green CNG driven Limousine.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Alma "Matar"

Defaming the institutes that make us the individuals we are, is in my opinion, a shameful act. It is pitiful that we turn around to mud-sling the very places that have brought us all this way.

Often, with no exception to myself, I find people talking about the institutes, of which they are the alumni, in a manner that makes them seem the worst places to be. Little do we realise that defaming these stepping stones only signifies our dissatisfaction with who we are, and is a convenient way to shift blame.......

The "Common" cold

Last November I had scribbled.........
"I hate how common the "common cold" can be. As the mercury dips, faster than any of the years I have been here, my entire respiratory system does a municipal plumbing on me...clogged and runny at the same time. Sorry to sound so gross but when your voice sounds like you drank the entire bar the previous night, there is little else that comes to an oxygen deficient brain. My ears feel like there is enough surgical cotton in them to supply AIIMS. This is sick you say ??....well try having a "common" cold in this uncommonly cold weather....now thats being sick."